It all began when a friend approached me, saying, “I had a dream about you, and I rarely dream.” She was puzzled about the meaning of the dream, in which she saw large cubes of meat. Initially, these cubes of meat had been thrown away, but my friend knew that she had to wash them clean and hand them to me.
Unknown to the dreamer, I was experiencing health problems: constant stomach cramps and nausea. After testing, it was discovered that food intolerances were the cause, especially dairy foods.
For months, I had meticulously checked the ingredients on food labels. I was already vegetarian; now I became vegan, trying to eliminate everything that caused symptoms. At times I simply didn’t want to eat, fearful of feeling sick afterwards.
(Note: In no way do I wish to imply that vegetarian or vegan diets are unhealthy; on the contrary, I believe they have many health benefits. I’m simply telling my personal story, as it occurred).
I decided to seek help from someone trustworthy in healing and deliverance ministry. It didn’t take long for the person leading the prayer ministry to establish the root cause of my health problems.
Growing up with a Mom who imposed very strict discipline, who rarely demonstrated affection, and who was often angry with me, I lived in fear much of the time.
As a child, I didn’t like meat: the taste, the texture, and the fact it involved killing animals. Around the age of six or seven, I told my parents I didn’t want to eat meat. This statement was met with ridicule.
If I didn’t eat everything on my plate, I was punished. Feelings of panic would rise up in me, as I began to feel overcome with nausea, and didn’t know how to force the food down.
As a small child, I made a vow never to eat meat again, once I was old enough to leave home.
In the environment of harsh discipline and fear that I grew up with, food had become associated with punishment. My choice to be vegetarian wasn’t the issue. The source of the problem was the inner vow that I made at a time of intense pain and fear.
Deep wounds in childhood can be a point of entry for evil spirits to attach themselves; then inner healing and deliverance is needed.
My Mom was a prisoner of pain, too, acting in the only way she knew, inadvertently passing on generational hurts and behaviour patterns.
The survival mechanisms we use to get by can become the cages that imprison us.
During the time of prayer ministry, I briefly revisited that time in my childhood when I made the inner vow, relinquishing it, handing it over to Jesus, forgiving my parents for the hurts they had inflicted, and inviting Jesus to bring healing to those memories.
At one point, I started to feel dizzy; as I quietly began praising Jesus, I believe that is when the evil spirit left. There was no drama; it was a very gentle deliverance.
Imagine carrying a heavy weight around for most of your life – something like carrying a sack full of stones on your back – but being unaware of its existence. Then the weight is removed, and you feel such lightness, as if you are walking on air. That is how it felt. I had no doubt I was healed.
Within twenty four hours, all the stomach cramps and nausea had disappeared. Dairy foods were re-introduced to my diet, with no ill effects, and I even tried a little meat. I no longer feel anxiety about food; nowadays I have freedom to enjoy eating.
There was also a foundational change, that I hadn’t asked for, expected, or even dreamed of.
The critical voice that used to attack me with negative, violent, tormenting, self hating thoughts – that voice that had a habit of turning up the volume inside my head at critical moments, to hurl a barrage of abuse at me – that voice had gone for good.
This is freedom indeed!